


Of Abandonment and Icy Beasts

by ambivalentlangst



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bad Ending, Blue is not kind, Blue paladin!Lance, Gen, Hurt and Very Little Comfort, I wrote this because I was just like... .. hold up what if Blue has a vicious streak, Langst, Lion switch but it goes back to normal, Mention of clone theory, Red paladin!Keith, Red paladin!Lance, black paladin!Keith, so many water metaphors it's both ridiculous and impressive, tw emotional abuse/manipulation and mention of bad self care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 08:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12317586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambivalentlangst/pseuds/ambivalentlangst
Summary: Blue loves her cub, but love is a fickle thing. Hers is swift and merciless like the ocean. With its force she tears her cub apart.





	Of Abandonment and Icy Beasts

Blue was a creature of loyalty. She was fluid like rapids, but she was also capable of freezing over with the stubborn frostbite of her love. That being said, she was willing to adapt. Even glaciers moved, however slowly they may creep along a terrain--leaving unmistakable marks from the time spent in place. As her pride’s leader had her paladin ripped away from her with an anguished roar, Blue looked at her beautiful, adept cub and wished to let out a cry of protest too, release her grief like the wild crash of the waves of her cub’s planet. She knew what the black paladin’s absence meant, and looked to her smaller, more agile sister with envy and a loathing that curled within her in a spike of uncontrollable malice.

She did not realize how fully unquenchable her anger was, how much in this case she most definitely did not want to adapt, not until she made a mistake she could never fully fix.

He flew her dutifully despite the rift in the team with their leader gone, and every time he called her beautiful or came to redo her paint, she couldn’t help but to purr and preen like a spoiled housecat. They fit, and even his eyes were the color of their element. A perfect pair. 

She could not understand why the others did not tell her cub that he was worthy more often. Of course she was told by the others time and time again when her hackles started rising that it wasn’t intentional, they didn’t mean to hurt him. Still, that didn’t change the tears that had fallen more than once as her cub came to her in the night, curling up in his chair while she tried her best to comfort him. He was good, he was so very kind and giving to them. Of course he teased, but he was quick to reassure them the next moment that he didn’t really mean it. Sometimes they didn’t do the same for him. They did not mean to, but it cut through her cub and dragged him down with the ruthlessness of a riptide. She was not sure she fully forgave the other paladins for that.

Blue loved her cub more than anything, even her previous paladin. She adored Blaytz, but this boy with his long limbs and eyes that held so much sadness within their depths had her mechanical heart in the palm of his hands. She loved that he came to her when he needed something, and settled into her cockpit as she sent all her affections and care his way. Blue was not as welcoming to others, did not share her love so easily. In particular, she did not love the red paladin.

He was so obviously smitten with her cub, it was almost embarrassing. Amongst their pride they’d laughed about it more than once, but that was not the source of her bitterness. No, that spawned from the red one’s leaving. Red had told Black the exchange that had gone on between their chosen ones, that if something were to happen to one he wanted the other to lead. Blue knew from the moment Black broadcasted her shock and pain into the bond between the five of them that he would ultimately take her cub away. He would darken his colors from red to black, and her cub would change hues altogether from blue to red. Her anger towards him bubbled and broiled like a geyser ready to explode. Her sister painted red might’ve been made of magma, molten and unforgiving, but she was not water. She was not something that turned against the creatures that needed it, scalding them in explosions that would paint them in sickeningly crimson lacerations while they begged for the agony to end. Red was swift, unyielding. Blue was not as much so. It took time to drown, for the current to smash one to pieces. There was a more calculating side to the suffering. It took time for Blue’s breath and life, her cub, to be taken away.

The red one was brash and violent, exploding in outburst after outburst that left her cub anxious and wanting, to wrap him in his arms and hold him tight until the storm passed for him. She would always admire her paladin’s caring. How he only wanted to help. He did not reach out though, afraid of being burned. Blue resented that as well, but her rage did not explode until they all tried to pilot Black. Black, who had already made up her mind. Blue forgave him for wanting Black. That was fair. He did not not want her, he wanted to show the team what he was worth. That made sense. That, she could understand. What truly made her furious was in the end, that he went towards Red’s paladin. The one out of all of his teammates who was truly unworthy of his comfort. Why did her cub not see that? Why couldn’t he see that the red cub was tearing them apart? She tried to tell him, had tried to tell him multiple times before. He shoved her away and brushed off her opinion. Red growled as she thought such things. Blue did not care, and her next thoughts traveled through the pride’s bond as well in an icy, vindictive rush. If her cub would continue to chase after the red paladin, the reckless boy who would destroy everything they’d worked so hard for, he could have him. Her cub could have the red paladin for all she cared, and his lion. 

When her cub, no, the new red paladin, stared up at her through her particle barrier with tears shining in his eyes it sent a vicious thrill through Blue. Her sisters did not voice the sick feeling it gave the rest of their pride, the horror of what Blue was doing to her beloved paladin in her fury and thirst for revenge. She gave no explanation, nothing at all. She let Lance think whatever he wanted, and finally severed their bond in his mind as well. He made a choked sound as he felt the presence finally leave his mind, the break splintered at the ends like a stick crudely broken over a child’s knee. The princess was there to comfort him, and Blue let him watch as she let down her particle barrier for her. She ignored the true call she felt, throbbing insistently and turning her head towards her original pilot. Let him watch their bond crumble, while she raised the princess up to grow stronger than ever before. Let it hurt, like he’d hurt her. Red spoke out at last, her roar reverberating off the walls of the castle.

Blue surveyed her paladin from up above, watched the tears slide down his cheeks to drip off his chin as he ran away from her hangar and the princess, towards Red. So be it. She wanted him to feel the sting of that betrayal, and looked the other way as he sobbed later, consoled clumsily by her sister who did not know him and how to help like Blue did. Was not fully suited to him. No other member of their pride would be, not like her. Lance belonged with her, and she was going to watch him realize that he’d lost everything when he chose his fellow paladin. Her sisters began to distance themselves from her, waiting for Blue’s frozen heart to thaw. It was not her way to stay chilled forever, and there would undoubtedly be a reaction to what she’d done that would shake the bond. Capricious gods would do as they liked, and when Blue realized her mistakes there would be no sympathy from the rest of her pride. Black had not put a stop to her spite either, too caught up in her own grief and getting accustomed to the pain of her new paladin.

The princess bonded fine with Blue. It took time for her to realize she would not listen to orders, to learn to pilot in general, but they managed. Blue cultivated her means of getting back at her former paladin, even going as far as to push the princess to reckless heights she was not fully prepared for. Lance had not gotten to those heights, but he was close. Had gotten there faster than either of her other paladins should’ve. He did well with Red, which only made Blue angrier. He zipped around in her like it was what he was born for, vivacious and upbeat as he spoke with the new black paladin, becoming his right hand. He rose to the occasion with flourish, all smiles in front of the team despite the thinning of his face and the ashy smudges under his eyes. Her rage mounted higher and higher, only to come crashing down in the dead of night, as her former paladin came to her.

He’d been going to Red’s hangar more ever since the switch, curling up to her and taking comfort with his new lion. Just like he used to with her. This time, however, he crept into her’s, a blanket around his shoulders that cast a shadow dark enough to hide the wetness to his cheeks. His voice was so very small when he spoke, staring up at her regal, frigid self.

“What did I do?” he asked softly. “I don’t understand. Keith still has his bond with Red. She still comforts him. She still loves him. Was I not a good paladin? Why don’t you want me anymore?” Blue felt the words in her core, a sharp pick hitting ice with brutal strength. This was punishment, she reminded herself. This was his fault, for choosing his fellow paladin over her. She did not crack, and her particle barrier did not waver. The new red paladin fell to his knees, a strangled sound pushing past his lips in a way that made Blue’s conscience pay attention. “Please, I just want to understand why you hate me,” he begged. Another whack of the pick, splintering through her frosty exterior. His sobs echoed throughout the room, the blanket hanging loosely off his shoulders while his hands fisted in the fabric of his shirt, above his heart. Blue still refused to let him in, despite the low growls building from the mouth of her sister through their bond. Red, god, she hated Red. 

Yellow, Green, and even Black had largely been left out of the wake of Blue’s wrath. They didn’t interfere, but her smallest sister wouldn’t stay silent. How many times had she expressed her disapproval, roaring in her fiery timbre through their connection that she was destroying her cub? That he still needed her, and she was a fool for abandoning him. How many times had Blue ignored her?

She watched her former paladin cry, until the shaking of his shoulders stopped and he was finally still. Then there were only his sniffles, sitting and staring at her for hours until the new black paladin came to find him. He visibly cringed as he saw his teammate on the floor, crying to his old ship. He walked forward, wrapping his arms around him.

“Lance, come on. You don’t look so hot.” He tried to coax him away from her, and Blue felt a fresh layer of ice freeze over the cracks that had formed. Her old paladin, the boy who had betrayed her, didn’t reject the touch. He didn’t react either, just let him hold him like a limp doll. He held him like Lance had ached to when everything first started, when Black’s first cub left. Lance pressed himself into him, and clung.

“She hates me. She hates me Keith, and I don’t know what I did,” he whispered. The other boy’s stoic appearance didn’t falter as he awkwardly ran his fingers through his hair in a fumbling attempt to comfort him. He looked to be struggling for the right words to respond with, but came up empty handed. In the end, all he said was a simple,

“I’m sorry.” Lance’s fingers tightened on his shirt, casting shadows from the impression of his grip. He was silent. They both were, and the black paladin continued to provide solace for him until Lance went slack and fell asleep in his arms. It was then and only then that he moved, slipping one arm under his teammate’s knees and the other around his back. Blue felt her displeasure flaming up, but was stopped short by the black paladin who she so detested. He spun to face her, hatred to rival her own hard in his eyes. His glare cut through her in a way that would’ve left her gasping for breath had she been human. His words were sharp stabs at her wild, reckless storm of emotions. 

“This is all your fault. He loves you so much, and you broke his heart. Why don’t you care? He’s lost so much weight, and he never sleeps. You know how many nights I’ve found him training, barely able to walk from sheer exhaustion because he wants to be a paladin you’ll want?” He let out a mirthless bark of laughter. “You don’t deserve him, or his love.”

It shattered her icy veneer, sending her fury crashing down in thunderous waves that startled the other members of her pride.

What had she done? What had she done to her paladin, so that the one who drove them apart was left to pick up his broken pieces?

The black paladin left, and Blue finally let go.

The whole of Voltron could not be operated for three days. She and her sisters were silent, roiling with pain emanating violently, inescapably through their bond.

The other four were able to come back online. Blue was dark for the rest of the week.

While she was down, Black found her paladin, the real one. He’d been at a rebel base, along with the green paladin’s brother. While Blue recovered, the pilots that had a lion to fly went back to their original. Her cub had nothing, and Blue was the catalyst for all his fears about being unneeded coming true. Her former paladin, the princess, came to her increasingly, begging her to reactivate. They needed Voltron, they needed her. She did not listen. She was simply inactive, standing tall and proud with darkened lights, a shell of her former glory. Her particle barrier was not even up. She gave up.

When her time of mourning ended and she was able to fight through the weight of what she’d done, she finally lit up again. Her particle barrier came crashing impenetrably down, despite how the princess pleaded with her. It was then and only then that her cub came back to her, coaxed by pleas of his team.

A single foot into her hangar had her scrambling to look presentable, her shield disappearing as she tried to look welcoming. She wished for her paladin to come back to her, and so he did. However, though she tried, it wasn’t the same as before. Where she had once had a boy playful like the tide tickling toes and sun warmed sand, she now had a brittle creature of ice and cautious steps, liable to snap if she was too rough. Their shattered bond hung between them with chilling finality, and despite all of her gentle nudges and attempts at rounding out its sharp edges, her cub shied away. He feared her anger, and feared being abandoned again.

It was a comfort to be back in his thoughts and he in hers without the sting of betrayal she’d been feeling for months on end, but he was not healed by far. She did not know this new version of him, who gripped her controls too lightly, was afraid to push her around. He went to Red instead, when he wanted comfort. Blue was no longer a haven. No, Blue hurt him in every way and he did not forget. Though water remains, it erodes at the land. Changes its shape so that eventually what once was disappears, never to be fully seen again. Her cub was her ground, her anchor. A strong but receiving cliff to crash into, until she weathered him away. Her cub was broken beyond repair, and Blue had nobody to blame but herself.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! Also posted on tumblr under the blog name ambivalentlangst. As a reminder, kudos and comments greatly inspire me to continue writing so while I don't demand them or anything, it is really nice to see. Thank you so much for reading!


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